Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She told me I should be a condom model.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
