I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
