she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
