You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
