Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
