Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So vagazzling was a success
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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