I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
