no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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