hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
