bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
