If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
