The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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