Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
