That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
