People with herpes should wear stickers.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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