I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize