I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
