i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
50% drunk capacity currently
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
