Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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