i was born a porn star she said
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
