nut hugger
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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