Jerry, you need to find god
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
