the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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