fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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