you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
