I skipped work to stalk him.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
