i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I want her autograph on my taint
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
