Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
