So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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