There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Im part way to drunk.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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