Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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