Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
