just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
