Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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