Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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