and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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