what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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