my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
