We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
