I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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