How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
