I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
