been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
