who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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