reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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