You work out of a Hotel?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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