ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
