You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
