and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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