I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
