On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
