hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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