so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
