I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize