i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
