The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My vagina just clenched in fear
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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