So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
