wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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