can u get pink eye on your cock?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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