I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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