Little spoons don't ask big questions
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
