Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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