If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
