FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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